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Kelly's avatar

I'd like to say more to all of this than I currently have energy and brainpower to say, so I'll leave it at this: I'm so glad I came across you in my life, and it's not just because of your work, and your writing, and your brain, and what you offer us (but ofc those things, too) - but because of who I perceive you to be as a person. Your heart and soul, your sense of humour, your generosity and compassion.

I think people can make the argument that we don't really know the truth of someone if we just know them through the internet - and there are obvs parts of you only a few people irl will ever know - but I don't think it's true that we can't gauge someone's heart from the internet, especially if they've spent years being as much themselves as they can be under the constraints of social media etc. You can feel if someone is a safe and important and nourishing presence in your online life, just as much as you can feel if they're a bit dangerous. I don't think I would have stuck around otherwise lol.

These past three years of this newsletter have been such a great project in thinking and writing and engaging and challenging yourself and keeping up momentum - and you now deserve so so much to take time and space to circle back to what you really want to do with this next part of life and on this internet. It's admirable for you to be tuned in with yourself enough to know that that's what it's time for. Have fun, have a rest, take the pressure off, post whatever the fuck you want on instagram without worrying that people will cancel you for not having the perfect carbon footprint or whatever the fuck. Whatever it be, take your foot off the pedal if that's what you want, keep chugging if that's what you want- but, whatever it is, once you're doing what's best for you and people who have grown to care about you see that, there's no way you lose the people worth keeping.

Know that there are people out here who value you greatly, even if we only know each other on the internet, and that the work you offer is only a portion of the reason for that. It's really down to the aura and vibes you've emanated outside of what you do for work. And I'm not diminishing the work you've done! I've obvs loved it with all my heart!

But I think I just feel compelled to say that I see and hear what you're saying about that feeling of things coming to a head, or a natural endpoint. That you couldn't possibly keep going with how it was, even if you had any effort or interest left in you to try to keep it the same. Once something has run its course it's impossible to keep pretending it hasn't. And it doesn't mean not being grateful for what came before - but being grateful for what was doesn't mean staying stuck in it out of some sort of feeling of duty or worry about letting people down or fear of letting it change. Fighting it can only last for so long because we can only keep going on a treadmill for so long - at some point we feel that what we got on for has been completed and then, it's time to step off, and that's both scary and freeing and exciting. And none of it is possible to even put into words, it's just all some sort of feeling that we don't really understand but we trust enough to say: okay, lead me.

Fair play to you for everything, Alicia, for the work and for the rest and for the fun and the food etc etc etc. I'm looking forward to seeing where the next year takes you x

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Vicki's avatar

I'm looking forward to seeing what you have in store for 2024. 🙂 Sounds like you've had a massive few years and it's more than time to revisit and please yourself more now.

Regarding opens – you're probably aware, but just in case you aren't, Apple Mail has a setting that prevents newsletters from tracking this, which may confound your results depending on how many Apple Mail readers you have...

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