Ok I LOVE and APPRECIATE these comments from the deepest part of my heart, truly, and I absolutely needed the confirmation of how exhausting the car-dependent life can be. Because I grew up on Long Island, I understand it, but I’d been away from it in Brooklyn for so long that the absurdity of it becomes utterly clear.
Ok I LOVE and APPRECIATE these comments from the deepest part of my heart, truly, and I absolutely needed the confirmation of how exhausting the car-dependent life can be. Because I grew up on Long Island, I understand it, but I’d been away from it in Brooklyn for so long that the absurdity of it becomes utterly clear.
I’m going to keep writing about public interaction with food / food spaces for a bit because this line of thought is so generative. I articulated through the writing of this essay that what I miss about NYC is spontaneity and conviviality in my food and drink life. So how can I get that back a bit here? Is it possible in a different way? The pandemic, too, changed my relationship to San Juan--the bar where I used to like to write hired a bunch of people who aren’t very pleasant frankly!!! Which is fine life goes on but...--and of course the increased cost of living.
A lot to think about and hopefully a fruitful (no pun intended) space to think: how my desire to interact with food is so related to my desire to have passive contact with other people!
oh thank god, sometimes I realise how long my comment is and I'm like: don't hassle people !!! I'm glad you appreciated it, rather than provided my IP address to the police.
Alicia, I have so much to say about this topic. Have you noticed you feel like / are made to feel like a whiney brat when you bring up that it's really difficult to live like this? That yes, we get on with it, and yes, there are parts that are fine and nice and to be appreciated - but that doesn't preclude the constant thought of how much "easier" it could/should all be? I have to fight against the part of my brain telling me to quit complaining, when at least I have a home, at least I have access to food, and good food at that (esp in light of so many heartbreaking things going on in the world as we sit and type in the comfort of our safe homes), at least I even have access to a car, at least at least at least. But...we're allowed to say when something could be better/easier/ more enjoyable; it doesn't mean we're saying our life is so awful.
I can't believe you've brought up that thing about working in cafes/bars - I've been reckoning recently with many of the ways in which the pandemic affected me, but that I left lie dormant because I realised I was only making the situation worse for myself by thinking about things in the thick of it, when nothing could be different anyway. I think you just kick into another gear and bury things that aren't FRUITFUL to think about in the moment, and then when the moment has passed, you start to unpack it and realise and mourn.
And the cafe/bar thing was something massive that was taken away from me, but I shut it down within myself cos we all just had to get on with it etc. But, really, that was a huge part of my life, and my enjoyment, and my way of interacting, and my way of thinking and being inspired and being content, and just being silently in company, this sense of a shared space, some sort of camaraderie - and it was gone, and still isn't back. Because, even though it's technically back ... it's different? Like, yes things are open now but no one is happy or feeling the same fulfilment from it? Like we're all a bit disconnected from the places we built our lives, we're less invested, we're holding them a bit at arms' length - maybe cos we've realised how quickly it can all go away so it might not hurt as much next time if we're less "present"? All unconsciously, of course. Maybe I'm projecting cos I know this is a thing I've always done in my personal life lol
I so relate to what you said about not enjoying what used to be a regular haunt - for me, too, the vibes are so off in the places I used to take solace in. Is it just me, or is it them, too? Is it the world? Have we been through too much to just go back and pretend: oh here we are in the cafe again, yay. It feels like pretending to feel something we're not really feeling, but used to, and miss it, so are trying to force it.
I don't know. My mind is going a mile a minute now lol
Ok I LOVE and APPRECIATE these comments from the deepest part of my heart, truly, and I absolutely needed the confirmation of how exhausting the car-dependent life can be. Because I grew up on Long Island, I understand it, but I’d been away from it in Brooklyn for so long that the absurdity of it becomes utterly clear.
I’m going to keep writing about public interaction with food / food spaces for a bit because this line of thought is so generative. I articulated through the writing of this essay that what I miss about NYC is spontaneity and conviviality in my food and drink life. So how can I get that back a bit here? Is it possible in a different way? The pandemic, too, changed my relationship to San Juan--the bar where I used to like to write hired a bunch of people who aren’t very pleasant frankly!!! Which is fine life goes on but...--and of course the increased cost of living.
A lot to think about and hopefully a fruitful (no pun intended) space to think: how my desire to interact with food is so related to my desire to have passive contact with other people!
oh thank god, sometimes I realise how long my comment is and I'm like: don't hassle people !!! I'm glad you appreciated it, rather than provided my IP address to the police.
Alicia, I have so much to say about this topic. Have you noticed you feel like / are made to feel like a whiney brat when you bring up that it's really difficult to live like this? That yes, we get on with it, and yes, there are parts that are fine and nice and to be appreciated - but that doesn't preclude the constant thought of how much "easier" it could/should all be? I have to fight against the part of my brain telling me to quit complaining, when at least I have a home, at least I have access to food, and good food at that (esp in light of so many heartbreaking things going on in the world as we sit and type in the comfort of our safe homes), at least I even have access to a car, at least at least at least. But...we're allowed to say when something could be better/easier/ more enjoyable; it doesn't mean we're saying our life is so awful.
I can't believe you've brought up that thing about working in cafes/bars - I've been reckoning recently with many of the ways in which the pandemic affected me, but that I left lie dormant because I realised I was only making the situation worse for myself by thinking about things in the thick of it, when nothing could be different anyway. I think you just kick into another gear and bury things that aren't FRUITFUL to think about in the moment, and then when the moment has passed, you start to unpack it and realise and mourn.
And the cafe/bar thing was something massive that was taken away from me, but I shut it down within myself cos we all just had to get on with it etc. But, really, that was a huge part of my life, and my enjoyment, and my way of interacting, and my way of thinking and being inspired and being content, and just being silently in company, this sense of a shared space, some sort of camaraderie - and it was gone, and still isn't back. Because, even though it's technically back ... it's different? Like, yes things are open now but no one is happy or feeling the same fulfilment from it? Like we're all a bit disconnected from the places we built our lives, we're less invested, we're holding them a bit at arms' length - maybe cos we've realised how quickly it can all go away so it might not hurt as much next time if we're less "present"? All unconsciously, of course. Maybe I'm projecting cos I know this is a thing I've always done in my personal life lol
I so relate to what you said about not enjoying what used to be a regular haunt - for me, too, the vibes are so off in the places I used to take solace in. Is it just me, or is it them, too? Is it the world? Have we been through too much to just go back and pretend: oh here we are in the cafe again, yay. It feels like pretending to feel something we're not really feeling, but used to, and miss it, so are trying to force it.
I don't know. My mind is going a mile a minute now lol