I could not relate harder to this, and while I'm sorry that you're struggling with it all, I am so grateful to you for sharing--it was exactly what I needed to read this morning as I am struggling with the same thing. Burning the candle at both ends only to have my most exciting ideas pared down to be more palatable or to fit a certain angle, never feeling like I'm pitching or writing enough, trying to write a book proposal while doing freelance journalism full-time, retaining my one paid client just to make ends meet, and certainly never resting.
It's sort of reassuring, but mostly a sad reflection on our culture, as you've eloquently stated here, that even someone who is as prolific and talented as you can feel this way. What you are doing matters--every one of your essays is remarkable, and I am continually baffled by your ability to consistently produce such thought-provoking, well-researched pieces amidst all the other work you are doing. Making a living as a freelance writer is terrifying, thankless, and exhausting, and it helps to know that I'm not alone. Your vulnerability in sharing things like this is one of the things I love most about your work; I thank you for it, and hope that you keep that part up, no matter how the rest of it unfolds.
All of this. My writing career has been very different from yours but much of what you wrote here feels familiar. For many reasons, I’m trying to hustle less. My family isn’t too dependent on my income so I can afford to slow down. That’s a privileged position for me to be in, and I wish privilege didn’t determine ones ability to be a writer in ways that require less hustle. Every writer I know is so tired and worn down. Hang in there. You’re doing good work. I hate that some parts of it suck.
Many of us tend to beat ourselves up from time to time. But working freelance makes that even more frequent. So we need to learn to tune out other people's strictures and judgements and to forgive ourselves, feel grateful for what we DO manage to create and come through on. It's herculean, what you're getting done week to week. Please remember to feel proud of that, congratulate yourself, enjoy your many strengths. You're giving us all a lot to reflect on.
I'm about your mom's age so I'll just step up with the: you're doing great! You're making it work. I hope you can afford a day off soon? Also, fucking pandemic has us all at the end of our ropes.
And the Sari Botton thing hits home. I have a good anchor gig, but it's a gig, and I'm in my late 50s. There's a full time job with benefits in play, with people I like and have gigged for for a couple of years. It would mean I could actually retire-retire a couple of years earlier than I thought I could. But I've been writing!
It's always like this. Tradeoffs. We'll see what happens.
This speaks to me in so many ways, as a Chef I have to pour out menus for private events, consulting and now a book. Venting is not the rest needed but at least is a way of release. It’s also a great newsletter, btw. One day, we’ll sit somewhere nice and laugh bout this crazy lifestyle, or at least I hope so...
Yeah, it's hard and you are doing a great job. I'll cheat and quote from an earlier comment.
"I'm truly impressed by each one of your newsletters, as to me they really are profound, well-researched, inspiring, and superbly written." (Thanks, Giulia Scarpaleggia)
I really really really appreciate all you do. I've been writing a subscription-based newsletter for 2 months now, along with writing a cookbook and doing other small jobs to make the ends meet, and I'm exhausted. I'm truly impressed by each one of your newsletters, as to me they really are profound, well-researched, inspiring, and superbly written.
Thank you for writing this. I have been unable to get words out of my head and onto a page for months now, and have felt quite inadequate. So thanks for letting me know that it’s not just me.
I could not relate harder to this, and while I'm sorry that you're struggling with it all, I am so grateful to you for sharing--it was exactly what I needed to read this morning as I am struggling with the same thing. Burning the candle at both ends only to have my most exciting ideas pared down to be more palatable or to fit a certain angle, never feeling like I'm pitching or writing enough, trying to write a book proposal while doing freelance journalism full-time, retaining my one paid client just to make ends meet, and certainly never resting.
It's sort of reassuring, but mostly a sad reflection on our culture, as you've eloquently stated here, that even someone who is as prolific and talented as you can feel this way. What you are doing matters--every one of your essays is remarkable, and I am continually baffled by your ability to consistently produce such thought-provoking, well-researched pieces amidst all the other work you are doing. Making a living as a freelance writer is terrifying, thankless, and exhausting, and it helps to know that I'm not alone. Your vulnerability in sharing things like this is one of the things I love most about your work; I thank you for it, and hope that you keep that part up, no matter how the rest of it unfolds.
All of this. My writing career has been very different from yours but much of what you wrote here feels familiar. For many reasons, I’m trying to hustle less. My family isn’t too dependent on my income so I can afford to slow down. That’s a privileged position for me to be in, and I wish privilege didn’t determine ones ability to be a writer in ways that require less hustle. Every writer I know is so tired and worn down. Hang in there. You’re doing good work. I hate that some parts of it suck.
Many of us tend to beat ourselves up from time to time. But working freelance makes that even more frequent. So we need to learn to tune out other people's strictures and judgements and to forgive ourselves, feel grateful for what we DO manage to create and come through on. It's herculean, what you're getting done week to week. Please remember to feel proud of that, congratulate yourself, enjoy your many strengths. You're giving us all a lot to reflect on.
I'm about your mom's age so I'll just step up with the: you're doing great! You're making it work. I hope you can afford a day off soon? Also, fucking pandemic has us all at the end of our ropes.
And the Sari Botton thing hits home. I have a good anchor gig, but it's a gig, and I'm in my late 50s. There's a full time job with benefits in play, with people I like and have gigged for for a couple of years. It would mean I could actually retire-retire a couple of years earlier than I thought I could. But I've been writing!
It's always like this. Tradeoffs. We'll see what happens.
This speaks to me in so many ways, as a Chef I have to pour out menus for private events, consulting and now a book. Venting is not the rest needed but at least is a way of release. It’s also a great newsletter, btw. One day, we’ll sit somewhere nice and laugh bout this crazy lifestyle, or at least I hope so...
Yeah, it's hard and you are doing a great job. I'll cheat and quote from an earlier comment.
"I'm truly impressed by each one of your newsletters, as to me they really are profound, well-researched, inspiring, and superbly written." (Thanks, Giulia Scarpaleggia)
I really really really appreciate all you do. I've been writing a subscription-based newsletter for 2 months now, along with writing a cookbook and doing other small jobs to make the ends meet, and I'm exhausted. I'm truly impressed by each one of your newsletters, as to me they really are profound, well-researched, inspiring, and superbly written.
WHOA. This one hit home for me.
Thank you for writing this. I have been unable to get words out of my head and onto a page for months now, and have felt quite inadequate. So thanks for letting me know that it’s not just me.