The comment about not cooking for a dog because you don't want to feel like you have a family made me so sad. I've been cooking for multiple dogs for 16 years. I don't have kids. Yes, some days I'd love to not cook. So I give them raw organ meats. If your dog isn't a work dog, what is she or he other than a member of the family? We have burials of dogs from over 10,000 years ago that clearly show humans have long considered them family members. I know not everyone can and will cook for their dogs, but that just rubbed me the wrong way. Dogs are the greatest gift to humankind, and we let that gift slip through our hands. My Australian family have always cooked for their dogs. My vet literally used my dog Benny as her Master Thesis in dog and cancer survival. He lived well with cancer for 6 years. He died at 16. That is old for any dog. The diet supplemented the treatment and his outcomes were much better than other dogs she was treating.

Did you figure out a homemade food option for Benny? If so, yay and may I ask what it is? I have had similar struggles trying to figure out the best feeding options for my senior pup. Hugs to Benny!

Yes to cooking as self care first. I often cook foods that make others happy, and that has a certain kind of gratification, but it’s a chore to be managed most days, just like laundry. I’m just as likely to cook what I’m craving, whether cooking only for myself or others as well, within the bounds of what I know they can and will eat. There’s a lot of labor in planning, shopping, cooking, etc and it’s more than OK to please ourselves as we do it.

I provide full-time care for my mother who is experiencing dementia. She often says "I have been craving X" or "it's been so long since we've had Y" and sometimes a more direct "may we have Z?" I sidestep her with maybes or we'll sees or simple ohs, but I tuck the idea away and a few days later, or a week later or more, I will prepare what she's fancied. Shen is always surprised and delighted, even if she doesn't remember the hint or the request. I do this out of fear of becoming a short order cook. I do this because I am afraid of committing or, more accurately, for fear of being unable to meet my commitments. So thank you for this. It assuages my guilty feeling.