This was so interesting! The writing v speaking distinction/differences, your experiences (and history), and aim(s), with both. It was very illuminating.
I was also terrified of public speaking in my youth - and when I got to grad school and had to do some teaching (those poor poor undergrads), it was very challenging. I started out prett…
This was so interesting! The writing v speaking distinction/differences, your experiences (and history), and aim(s), with both. It was very illuminating.
I was also terrified of public speaking in my youth - and when I got to grad school and had to do some teaching (those poor poor undergrads), it was very challenging. I started out pretty much writing out my lectures and basically read them… while trying to look like I wasn’t just reading stuff lol. It took time to build confidence speaking in front of people, especially when I began presenting papers at academic conferences. That was really scary, certainly at first (‘valium would have helped that bash’).
By the time I became a prof, omg: I was still writing out lectures, still trying (even harder!) to appear as if I was ‘just talking’. But as I tried to become more extemporaneous, to trust myself, I realised my writing had gotten better through it all - in a kind of reverse process, it became more like talking to the reader, even in my academic papers. (A reviewer once wrote, quite critically, that I sounded like I was talking to the reader - and I was pleased.)
Sorry, I could go on and on (the corporate lab years: Power Point World!) Your essay here really hit home, I could see exactly what you went through, what you try to do when writing and giving talks, and why. You write so damn well, Alicia. And the text you shared of your talk (Bates) had the feel of you ‘just talking’ (not lecturing) to the audience. Wish I had been there.
Jack, always so nice and reassuring to hear of your experiences! I’m glad I’m starting to come through in my talks—I think I’ve internalized a lot of freelance restraint, the need to be whatever I’m needed to be at the moment, and it can be more strange to be given the leeway to always be myself. I hope next time I teach I can feel a bit more free! You give me hope.
This was so interesting! The writing v speaking distinction/differences, your experiences (and history), and aim(s), with both. It was very illuminating.
I was also terrified of public speaking in my youth - and when I got to grad school and had to do some teaching (those poor poor undergrads), it was very challenging. I started out pretty much writing out my lectures and basically read them… while trying to look like I wasn’t just reading stuff lol. It took time to build confidence speaking in front of people, especially when I began presenting papers at academic conferences. That was really scary, certainly at first (‘valium would have helped that bash’).
By the time I became a prof, omg: I was still writing out lectures, still trying (even harder!) to appear as if I was ‘just talking’. But as I tried to become more extemporaneous, to trust myself, I realised my writing had gotten better through it all - in a kind of reverse process, it became more like talking to the reader, even in my academic papers. (A reviewer once wrote, quite critically, that I sounded like I was talking to the reader - and I was pleased.)
Sorry, I could go on and on (the corporate lab years: Power Point World!) Your essay here really hit home, I could see exactly what you went through, what you try to do when writing and giving talks, and why. You write so damn well, Alicia. And the text you shared of your talk (Bates) had the feel of you ‘just talking’ (not lecturing) to the audience. Wish I had been there.
Jack, always so nice and reassuring to hear of your experiences! I’m glad I’m starting to come through in my talks—I think I’ve internalized a lot of freelance restraint, the need to be whatever I’m needed to be at the moment, and it can be more strange to be given the leeway to always be myself. I hope next time I teach I can feel a bit more free! You give me hope.