I love the intellectual questions and conclusions this essay comes to, especially re-thinking and re-locating generosity as a conversation and a dialogue that happens before, alongside, and long after the meal/the trip. (And the give-and-take between planning ahead and going-with-the-flow is super relevant to my experience of traveling with a toddler with special food needs too) thank you!!!
I appreciate this essay so much - it's such a rich topic. As a vegan who travels a lot for work, including outside the U.S., I definitely adapt to the local definitions when I travel, which means fish sauce in SE Asia & not asking too many questions about what's in the beans. One thing I love in Hannah Che's Vegan Chinese cookbook is the double page spread of the different ways to be vegetarian w/in just the context of that one country.
& personally, I've found that the approach you describe of learning a little context & language usually ends up met with more delightful surprises & creativity than scorn.
That is so wildly smart from Che! And I love hearing about folks' "rules"—when we talk about flexibility, I think it creates so much room for people who never thought they could eat differently!
And yes, it's so funny to me that it would ever be considered blanket rude to travel and inquire about dishes without meat when in so many places, dishes without meat are easily available or take you outside the expected paths!
Bravo - there is so much I love about this piece...thanks for taking the time to think about it, write it, and share it...
And now my diversion. Around 2014, about 5 years after giving up meat and dairy, I found myself in a lovely little restaurant in Lerici – a small Ligurian town in Italy. My wife and I were both famished. We heard a lot about this small, family-run restaurant and couldn’t wait to dive into the offerings. I recall ordering a stuffed pasta of some sort. I also remember spending a lot of time explaining to the server that I didn’t want meat, fish, cheese, or dairy – the conversation was in Italian, and I am reasonably sure I got my point across. When the meal arrived, I thought…hmm…this smells delightful and looks delicious. I took a bite. It was amazing. I offered a bite to my wife, and she immediately asked me if I didn’t taste the cheese and meat. What? Of course, the food excitement blinded my taste buds – an embarrassment as a chef. I flagged down the server and asked about the animal products; he assured me there weren’t any. Really…what about the cheese and chopped-up ham? He quite naturally said, “Yes, of course, we use a little cheese and ham.” I still laugh about that moment…and happily passed the plate to my wife to finish (fortunately, her order was vegan…so the swap was a good solution).
I lovvvvvve this story!!! So funny–what is considered animal products will always be different everywhere. I was taken to a "plant-based" restaurant in Madrid where they put crisped jamón atop the gazpacho. I'm glad you were able to swap with your wife!
Oh, my other big mistake was eating french fries at a divey bar known for their Buffalo wings. When I complimented them, I found out they were fried in schmaltz!
I suspect this topic might easily be turned into a book...kind of in Steven Pressfield's The War of Art style - just one anecdote after another...I could probably contribute at least a couple dozen... And here's another example... One year after going vegan, I remained on high alert in all outside-the-home dining experiences – I had a lot riding on my success at becoming vegan, like continuing to walk. We had a date to meet my wife’s father for dinner in a location about halfway between Basel and Zürich…and that meant a country restaurant. We found a place. I ordered the Spaghetti Alio e Olio – how could any chef mess that up? Well, I placed the order and asked the server to make sure there was no butter on the spaghetti or served with cheese (that was a reasonable question because I knew from my chef experience in Switzerland that restaurants often pre-cook pasta and toss it in butter to prevent sticking…and cheese goes on all pasta). The server assured me no butter would be on the spaghetti and they would leave the cheese out. When my order arrived – remember, it should be spaghetti, oil, garlic…hopefully a bit of chili pepper…and that’s it – I was shocked to look at the plate and to realize the chef had put cream in the sauce. I instantly rejected the plate…and the chef came to my table and angrily reprimanded me for not informing him to leave the cream out…
Thank you for this! A decade ago I lived in Hanoi, VN for a year; I arrived as a vegan and left a much humbled vegetarian with a greater appreciation for nuance. I never had trouble finding something meatless to eat, as vegetarianism isn't unheard of there, especially for Buddhists during certain parts of the month; this was my introduction to non-Western mock meat! But sometimes, especially on the road, eggs were unavoidable unless I wanted to eat only rice & veggies, and of course I quickly realized the futility of attempting to avoid fish sauce. I dabbled in pescatarianism for a couple hours when a student brought me for a goodbye meal at his family's restaurant, which turned out to be completely seafood-based; a great lesson in different peoples' definitions of meat! 😅 I do still regret not being able to partake in most of the delicious street food I encountered, and debate with myself whether or how much leeway I'd give myself on a return trip. Don't we all have that internal pressure to prove that actually, we're not picky eaters; we're not like Those Other American Tourists? I also wonder about the moral weight some people give to adventurous eating, especially given that so many texture & taste aversions are linked to neurodivergence. Maybe we could all stand to be more humble about food. 🙂
I really appreciate the way you have framed your choice as a practice - I especially appreciate being reminded to not get trapped in an all or nothing mentality.
This resonated with me a lot. I’ve considered myself a staunch vegan for over 16 years, but have expanded that to include oysters and mussels, eggs from friends that have chickens, and dairy when I travel through Europe. Meat is never on the table for me. In Japan it felt worse to eat fish and actively not enjoy it rather than to just wait to eat rice balls at 7-11. On the other hand, seeking out vegan restaurants in countries where that feels niche is also disappointing - it’s usually a burger or some take on America cuisine, which defeats the joy of traveling for me. I have better luck translating the menu of local restaurants and ordering vegetable sides; those plates are often a super rewarding discovery.
Thanks so much for this! I've found so much good vegan food in unexpected places, but it can take a lot of legwork to do so. And yes—it's so much more rewarding to simply make your way through the local cuisine, eating what you can.
Finally had time to read this, love it so much!! My 20 year vegan anniversary just happened the first week of September, and as soon as I have time I'm going to write about how I can't actually celebrate it anymore because I have so many "vegan except when..." moments (some related to travel, some related to ED healing, etc); I can no longer really claim the label. I am halfway through your book (loving it, obvs) and I have a feeling I'll be citing the book and this essay as I reflect. <3
Oh, I am so glad to hear this and can’t wait to read. I think it’s so important to have these honest convos, obviously. Nothing / no one is perfect and that should be a point of opening not closing!!!
Thank you for this essay- I loved it!! And totally agree that in traveling while vegan, a combination of Google, asking questions, and some local advice can get you very far. When I spent a semester in Madagascar in college, I went in preparing to be more flexible, but ended up not needing to modify my diet after all (with one exception- a sample spoonful of yogurt offered to me by a classmate's host family in an open-air market; in the moment I decided that sticking strictly to my values would not outweigh the offense in refusing the yogurt).
Also great point that eating in a veggie way can lead you to more off-the-beaten-path local dishes. I recently learned (via Instagram, but still) that there's a whole mostly-vegan Greek Orthodox cuisine for Lent! The concept that veganism/vegetarianism is exclusively a privileged American thing is probably the misconception I'm most tired of lol.
What a fantastic distillation of your personal practice! This is why I continue to find your meatless ways inspiring. Your frankness and curiosity keeps my mind open and interested in what could be on my plate, rather than what might be easiest.
Loved this one! And would love to read more from you on how to you begin your research into vegan dishes or restaurants when preparing for a trip abroad. Google Maps, blogs, foodie websites, books, other?
I was raised in a house where dinner was lovingly prepared every night and we sat down at the table… but all that food came from a box or a jar or a can. I would not know how to prep a single vegetable if it was not for the women of Food Network TV. It’s been many years since I’ve tuned in but I’m forever grateful.
And to contribute my own anecdote - on a stereotypical post-college backpacking trip, my French-studying roommate and I went to a pizzeria in Paris. She ordered us a potato and cheese pizza. Turns out that “lardon” actually means bacon and we proceeded to scrape half a pound of thinly sliced meat off the pizza. The waiter’s look of confusion when he came to retrieve our plates I will never forget!
Sure, but traveling as a vegetarian or vegan is fraught with complications that go beyond notions of “generosity” that are culturally determined. I think this friction is an interesting space to navigate.
Of course. You essay reminded me of my mother, who was a good cook but imperious at the table, making anyone who didn't eat what she set down feel terrible, despite whatever dietary preferences, allergies or religious culinary restrictions they had.
I love the intellectual questions and conclusions this essay comes to, especially re-thinking and re-locating generosity as a conversation and a dialogue that happens before, alongside, and long after the meal/the trip. (And the give-and-take between planning ahead and going-with-the-flow is super relevant to my experience of traveling with a toddler with special food needs too) thank you!!!
I appreciate this essay so much - it's such a rich topic. As a vegan who travels a lot for work, including outside the U.S., I definitely adapt to the local definitions when I travel, which means fish sauce in SE Asia & not asking too many questions about what's in the beans. One thing I love in Hannah Che's Vegan Chinese cookbook is the double page spread of the different ways to be vegetarian w/in just the context of that one country.
& personally, I've found that the approach you describe of learning a little context & language usually ends up met with more delightful surprises & creativity than scorn.
That is so wildly smart from Che! And I love hearing about folks' "rules"—when we talk about flexibility, I think it creates so much room for people who never thought they could eat differently!
And yes, it's so funny to me that it would ever be considered blanket rude to travel and inquire about dishes without meat when in so many places, dishes without meat are easily available or take you outside the expected paths!
Bravo - there is so much I love about this piece...thanks for taking the time to think about it, write it, and share it...
And now my diversion. Around 2014, about 5 years after giving up meat and dairy, I found myself in a lovely little restaurant in Lerici – a small Ligurian town in Italy. My wife and I were both famished. We heard a lot about this small, family-run restaurant and couldn’t wait to dive into the offerings. I recall ordering a stuffed pasta of some sort. I also remember spending a lot of time explaining to the server that I didn’t want meat, fish, cheese, or dairy – the conversation was in Italian, and I am reasonably sure I got my point across. When the meal arrived, I thought…hmm…this smells delightful and looks delicious. I took a bite. It was amazing. I offered a bite to my wife, and she immediately asked me if I didn’t taste the cheese and meat. What? Of course, the food excitement blinded my taste buds – an embarrassment as a chef. I flagged down the server and asked about the animal products; he assured me there weren’t any. Really…what about the cheese and chopped-up ham? He quite naturally said, “Yes, of course, we use a little cheese and ham.” I still laugh about that moment…and happily passed the plate to my wife to finish (fortunately, her order was vegan…so the swap was a good solution).
I lovvvvvve this story!!! So funny–what is considered animal products will always be different everywhere. I was taken to a "plant-based" restaurant in Madrid where they put crisped jamón atop the gazpacho. I'm glad you were able to swap with your wife!
Oh, my other big mistake was eating french fries at a divey bar known for their Buffalo wings. When I complimented them, I found out they were fried in schmaltz!
I suspect this topic might easily be turned into a book...kind of in Steven Pressfield's The War of Art style - just one anecdote after another...I could probably contribute at least a couple dozen... And here's another example... One year after going vegan, I remained on high alert in all outside-the-home dining experiences – I had a lot riding on my success at becoming vegan, like continuing to walk. We had a date to meet my wife’s father for dinner in a location about halfway between Basel and Zürich…and that meant a country restaurant. We found a place. I ordered the Spaghetti Alio e Olio – how could any chef mess that up? Well, I placed the order and asked the server to make sure there was no butter on the spaghetti or served with cheese (that was a reasonable question because I knew from my chef experience in Switzerland that restaurants often pre-cook pasta and toss it in butter to prevent sticking…and cheese goes on all pasta). The server assured me no butter would be on the spaghetti and they would leave the cheese out. When my order arrived – remember, it should be spaghetti, oil, garlic…hopefully a bit of chili pepper…and that’s it – I was shocked to look at the plate and to realize the chef had put cream in the sauce. I instantly rejected the plate…and the chef came to my table and angrily reprimanded me for not informing him to leave the cream out…
!!!!
Thank you for this! A decade ago I lived in Hanoi, VN for a year; I arrived as a vegan and left a much humbled vegetarian with a greater appreciation for nuance. I never had trouble finding something meatless to eat, as vegetarianism isn't unheard of there, especially for Buddhists during certain parts of the month; this was my introduction to non-Western mock meat! But sometimes, especially on the road, eggs were unavoidable unless I wanted to eat only rice & veggies, and of course I quickly realized the futility of attempting to avoid fish sauce. I dabbled in pescatarianism for a couple hours when a student brought me for a goodbye meal at his family's restaurant, which turned out to be completely seafood-based; a great lesson in different peoples' definitions of meat! 😅 I do still regret not being able to partake in most of the delicious street food I encountered, and debate with myself whether or how much leeway I'd give myself on a return trip. Don't we all have that internal pressure to prove that actually, we're not picky eaters; we're not like Those Other American Tourists? I also wonder about the moral weight some people give to adventurous eating, especially given that so many texture & taste aversions are linked to neurodivergence. Maybe we could all stand to be more humble about food. 🙂
So fascinating!!! Thank you for this.
I really appreciate the way you have framed your choice as a practice - I especially appreciate being reminded to not get trapped in an all or nothing mentality.
Thanks
Renee
This resonated with me a lot. I’ve considered myself a staunch vegan for over 16 years, but have expanded that to include oysters and mussels, eggs from friends that have chickens, and dairy when I travel through Europe. Meat is never on the table for me. In Japan it felt worse to eat fish and actively not enjoy it rather than to just wait to eat rice balls at 7-11. On the other hand, seeking out vegan restaurants in countries where that feels niche is also disappointing - it’s usually a burger or some take on America cuisine, which defeats the joy of traveling for me. I have better luck translating the menu of local restaurants and ordering vegetable sides; those plates are often a super rewarding discovery.
Thanks so much for this! I've found so much good vegan food in unexpected places, but it can take a lot of legwork to do so. And yes—it's so much more rewarding to simply make your way through the local cuisine, eating what you can.
Finally had time to read this, love it so much!! My 20 year vegan anniversary just happened the first week of September, and as soon as I have time I'm going to write about how I can't actually celebrate it anymore because I have so many "vegan except when..." moments (some related to travel, some related to ED healing, etc); I can no longer really claim the label. I am halfway through your book (loving it, obvs) and I have a feeling I'll be citing the book and this essay as I reflect. <3
Oh, I am so glad to hear this and can’t wait to read. I think it’s so important to have these honest convos, obviously. Nothing / no one is perfect and that should be a point of opening not closing!!!
No meat, no reservations, no apologies
This is great. So thoughtful, and shows so much polish.
Thank you for this essay- I loved it!! And totally agree that in traveling while vegan, a combination of Google, asking questions, and some local advice can get you very far. When I spent a semester in Madagascar in college, I went in preparing to be more flexible, but ended up not needing to modify my diet after all (with one exception- a sample spoonful of yogurt offered to me by a classmate's host family in an open-air market; in the moment I decided that sticking strictly to my values would not outweigh the offense in refusing the yogurt).
Also great point that eating in a veggie way can lead you to more off-the-beaten-path local dishes. I recently learned (via Instagram, but still) that there's a whole mostly-vegan Greek Orthodox cuisine for Lent! The concept that veganism/vegetarianism is exclusively a privileged American thing is probably the misconception I'm most tired of lol.
What a fantastic distillation of your personal practice! This is why I continue to find your meatless ways inspiring. Your frankness and curiosity keeps my mind open and interested in what could be on my plate, rather than what might be easiest.
Loved this one! And would love to read more from you on how to you begin your research into vegan dishes or restaurants when preparing for a trip abroad. Google Maps, blogs, foodie websites, books, other?
I was raised in a house where dinner was lovingly prepared every night and we sat down at the table… but all that food came from a box or a jar or a can. I would not know how to prep a single vegetable if it was not for the women of Food Network TV. It’s been many years since I’ve tuned in but I’m forever grateful.
And to contribute my own anecdote - on a stereotypical post-college backpacking trip, my French-studying roommate and I went to a pizzeria in Paris. She ordered us a potato and cheese pizza. Turns out that “lardon” actually means bacon and we proceeded to scrape half a pound of thinly sliced meat off the pizza. The waiter’s look of confusion when he came to retrieve our plates I will never forget!
The Grandma Rule just sounds like bullying. Culinary generosity is a two-way street and hosts should care about their guests needs.
Sure, but traveling as a vegetarian or vegan is fraught with complications that go beyond notions of “generosity” that are culturally determined. I think this friction is an interesting space to navigate.
Of course. You essay reminded me of my mother, who was a good cook but imperious at the table, making anyone who didn't eat what she set down feel terrible, despite whatever dietary preferences, allergies or religious culinary restrictions they had.
Wow! I think it’s certainly generational and we’re softening over time.